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Hate a Random Country: São Tomé and Príncipe

It is widely understood that island nations are the gingers of the international community. Under that model, the pitiful African state known as São Tomé and Príncipe is the global equivalent of Molly...

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Meet Northwestern’s New Director of Sustainability

The man below is Rob Whittier. Not only a beautiful specimen of a man, Rob “Gorgeous as Fuck” Whittier is also hellbent on making this campus as green as possible, no matter how many empty cans of...

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Al Gore Blames Early Hanukkah on Global Warming

In a last ditch effort to maintain a distant trace of cultural relevance, former Vice President Al Gore has pointed to what is described as a “calendar oddity” as further proof of global climate...

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Halliburton to Start Fracking Your Mom

In a move that has been sharply criticized by environmentalists, Halliburton has announced that will be constructing five new fracking towers in and around your mom’s vagina and ass. Halliburton, which...

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50 Shades of Green

A special St. Patrick's Day take on the contemporary classic.

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